Tips of the session: Ask for support

Becoming a mother is usually a wonderful but stressful life event that brings about major changes in a woman's life. Many women struggle, but at the same time, many mothers think they are the only ones finding things difficult!

Our tip of the session is to ask for support if you feel that you need it.

• Talk to someone. Talk to your partner, to a friend, or to a family member. Tell them how you are feeling.
• Ask for help. Think about what areas in your life you could get help with. Could a friend or family member give the baby a feed, or cook you a meal? Could they do some practical things to help you around the house?
• If you are really struggling, contact your local nurse or doctor. Tell them how you are feeling. Ask them for information. Make sure that you prioritise your health and wellbeing.

Asking for help is actually a sign of strength not weakness. It is a positive act of self-care, which leads to better outcomes for both you and your baby.

Yvonne's advice

Yvonne, one of the mothers from the start of the session gives some great advice:

Do not be afraid to ask for help. Go with your gut feeling. If you feel that you don't feel well physically or mentally, go to your doctor, express exactly how you feel, if you feel you are not being heard, speak to another healthcare professional, keeping talking until someone listens. They, in my opinion are the first port of call when you are not feeling well, and they should guide and direct you to the best resources and treatment available. Pursue treatment until you are feeling well again, you do not have to suffer on. In your baby's eyes you are number one to them so you need to put your health as number one for you.

Question of the Session

Having a baby and becoming a mother, whether it’s your first, second, or third time, can be a joyous, exciting and really fulfilling experience. Others can find it overwhelming, and be anxious or worried all the time.

Think about the words that appear in the word cloud, some are positive and some are negative.

• If they are mostly positive, do you think this means that the more difficult aspects of motherhood are ‘not talked about’ and ‘hidden’?
• If they are mostly negative, do you think this means that women need more support in motherhood?
• What are some things you can do to help yourself stay mentally well?

Dear learners, a total of 168 people completed the Mentimeter on what words come to mind when thinking about the mental health of mothers after birth - the word cloud is striking in that several of the most common responses indicate that many women feel ‘overwhelmed’, ‘anxious’, ‘exhausted’ and ‘fragile’ during this time.

The word cloud shows that parenthood is an emotionally complex experience, a time when strong and competing emotions can live side-by-side. Enjoying happiness and excitement doesn’t cancel out your worry and vulnerability, just as anxiety, depression or fear doesn’t invalidate your love and elation.

Some women may find that the feelings that have a more adverse impact on mental wellbeing resolve after a short period, whereas, for others, they may continue for a long time or even worsen.

In the previous steps, we shared some articles and videos that can help you identify when you may need to seek help from a healthcare professional.

If you are concerned about your mental wellbeing, if you have been feeling low or anxious for some time, if these feelings are affecting your ability to enjoy life, motherhood or new experiences, if you have thoughts of self-harm, please ASK FOR HELP AND SUPPORT. You deserve to experience life and motherhood in the best health possible. You have acknowledged how you are feeling and the next positive step towards becoming mentally well is asking for help. Talk to a partner, trusted family member or friend. Find out what mental or medical health services are available in your area and ask for help now, do it for you!